okudugum bir makaleden, ahhh ahh uzun uzun dusunup aninda action yapmak gereken bir soru bu!
Top
five regrets of the dying
A nurse has recorded the
most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't
worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of
life?
There was no mention of more sex or
bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last
days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And
among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse
who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the
last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog
called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much
attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal
clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might
learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or
anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced
again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of
the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I'd had the
courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common
regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back
clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most
people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that
it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very
few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked
so hard.
"This came from every male
patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's
companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older
generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the
men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill
of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the
courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their
feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a
mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried
as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in
touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly
realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not
always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own
lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were
many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they
deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let
myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common
one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had
stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity
overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change
had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content,
when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their
life again."
What's your greatest regret
so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?
